When was the last time you gave someone your full attention and heard what they had to say without the sense that you needed to jump in with your own contribution or solve their problem? The skill of hearing seems to be a rarity these days; the art of listening to someone who is often processing as they talk, seems to have lost its space in our fast paced world.  But it has a very important role in our world and most especially in leadership or line manager skillsets. 

Its widely understood that many people dislike managing people, many actively avoid it throughout their careers. You'd be right in wondering, if we're going way off topic here and writing two blogs in one but we haven't, we know there is a direct relation between managing people and listening well and it is this we essential skill, we feel that leads people to fear managing others the most.

Managing others relies on you being able to spin multiple plates all at the same time; driving the business needs forward, whilst ensuring you're managing the wellbeing and performance of your team.  That in itself is quite the task.  Yet at the heart of the team performance is an implicit understanding of what they are delivering and how they are achieving it, as well as an awareness of any challenges they may have in their work or personal lives that may prevent them from achieving in your studio, so being able to ask questions that provide you insights is vital but curiously undervalued.

Removing ourselves from the workplace for a moment, if you play tennis with a friend you expect them to know a few basics: they know the rules of the game, have the right equipment and are well enough to play.  If any of those components aren't there, you may ask "why did you agree to play". And beyond the "it sounded like fun" you'd probably help them achieve the things they need to play again another time. At the heart of that conversation many things are happening; a need to solve the you agreed to play thing, but also listening. A true moment of connection where you agree that perhaps tennis wasn't their thing, or next time there will be an improvement in one of the other components that might have been missing.  And if the game was played a break down, perhaps, of why it went well. 

Naturally this is a simplified metaphor for the workplace and no matter what the scenario you face as leaders, a key component is knowing, rather than solving, where your team is at.  And that involves listening openly.  Often with the pressures of a busy workload we don't listen but its fundamental to the individuals thriving. So how do you do it well?

1. Clear your diary of distractions, so you can show you are giving real time to that individual.
2. Switch off notifications, beeps and buzzes on devices so time isn't interrupted.
3. Try to make discussions private where you can, so that you can do all the above but also to ensure privacy is taken care of, because discussions of any nature should always respect all parties privacy.
4. But if it's a chat in an open environment, always try to give the other party your undivided attention at the very least - sometimes in studio chats happen that need attention. If you can't take it to somewhere private then be sure to listen with intention and, if you need to continue it beyond that chat, arrange for it to happen privately.
5. Listen to the other person, without trying to interrupt. Ask questions that open conversation such as, "I noticed that you seem to be struggling with...what would help you" "I thought today, you were having a tough day, what would make it easier for you?" "I sense you and Pete aren't getting on so well at the moment, what would help you here?" This way you're creating a non judgemental environment and equally opening the space to hear what the other is feeling, or experiencing.
6. Don't impose your own thoughts, feelings, experiences onto the other party. Hold the space for them to explore their thoughts and feelings but avoid jumping in with a solution or a comment until they've finished processing what they have to say.  Its fine to interject from time to time with something that clarifies their thoughts or time box the conversation, i.e. "I'm happy to talk but I don't have long, if you need longer we can continue at another time" but save your views or solutions.
7. You can ask the other party, "would you like to hear what I think?" Or, "would you like a solution or are you just exploring what you think about this" otherwise understand this is really about the other party airing their concerns or processing their thoughts.
8. And finally, if someone repeatedly responds to situations in work in a similar way saying something to them about your observations can be helpful "I notice you often seem frustrated when talking to Helen, is there something that would change that".
9. Understand your policies around appropriate behaviours at work and things like your EAP services or Private Medical Healthcare to enable you to signpost people to get help.  You're not going to call a Dr for them but you could suggest they may need that help or where someone is overstepping a boundary, you will know what to do to activate any mechanisms to prevent issues growing bigger.

The essence of these conversations is to allow you to probe gently to get people to respond in an adult fashion to work, it allows you to create a safe environment for all things, good and bad to be shared but also it allows you to keep a close eye on issues and patterns to help move them along.

If you'd like training on active listening skills please drop us a line to info@freshseed.co.uk and we will happily talk to you about this and other training that might be relevant for line managers, like respect at work and managing tricky conversations.